Are You a Man?

Great video. Great thoughts. I love it.

With me, I’ve had a feeling for many many years of wanting to speak and teach and write to reach others for God. I just haven’t had the opportunity arise because churches don’t have places for folks like me to dig in, grow and train.

Sure, we can help out with the children’s ministry or we can perform in the drama ministry or we can greet people at the door. We can move boxes at the canned food drive or we can show up to serve meals at a soup kitchen.

But speak to a group and get training & wise counsel on developing a speaking ministry? That’s not one of the church’s programs.

Reaching the world through writing blogs, books and dramatic presenations (film, plays)? That’s not something churches are there to train people to do.

So creatives like me get pushed aside. A lot of pastors would say we’re not “man” enough because of where our gifting lie. So I’d get frustrated and discouraged. I’d withdraw into the video games or “childish” things because at least there I could express some of my creative abilities and giftings. The world provided me places to use my gifts from God when the church wouldn’t provide such openings unless I wanted to pay thousands of dollars (which I don’t have) to go to seminary to get a piece of paper that says I talk about God and it’s OK because I studied the Bible a few times.

I’m sorry. God can use me to speak and I don’t need a seminary degree to tell someone how He changed my life. I don’t need a seminary degree to step into the great commission. I don’t need a seminary degree to stand in front of a group of discouraged, wounded followers of Christ and tell them that God loves them and His word is just as alive today as it was when it was written. The church says we’re to go into all the world. They just don’t help a lot of us do it when it doesn’t fit within the list of programs handed out at newcomer’s night.

Sorry to vent.

I love it — been doin’ it for 35+ years. Can’t find a church that’ll let me do it anymore within their walls.

It’s very sad. Been looking for a church here in our new location since 2005. Gave up a year ago or so.

I’m certainly glad you vented. I’m an artist, graphic designer, author with much the same experience.

I guess our call is to persevere until the Lord lifts us up. He will as soon as we are ready for public consumption.

Hey Jason – thanks for your thoughts!

I can certainly understand your frustration. Seminary or other formal training is certainly a great idea, but not for everyone. I see nowhere in the bible that Jesus requires us to “go to seminary, then go make disciples”. He just says to go make disciples!

There is no reason you can’t use the gifts you have now! That list of groups they gave you at newcomer’s night came from somewhere. Nurseries and drama ministries are not mentioned in the bible. They were created because of a need. Sometimes programs are made because of expressed needs, and sometimes they are created because of expressed giftings. Why not start a class on Wednesday night or Sunday morning? Teach at a home group. Organize a men’s bible study over breakfast at the local diner. You get the idea.

These are the stepping up as a man issues that Darrin is talking about. Boys become men by being in the presence of men. You don’t even need a specific gift or topic in mind. If you are a Christian, find a way – no, make a way to rub off on others. Those you are younger and/or less mature need to learn from you. And you need to find men who are older and farther along in the faith to rub off on you. Lack of this = dead churches and messed-up families.

As for the creative issue, start with Twitter. Look for people like you. Read their blogs. You won’t find many churches that train people to write blogs or books or put on plays. You will find all kinds of individuals and organizations that will be more than happy to share their experiences with you though! Take the initiative and find them, then approach your church about whether there might be others who would be interested in hearing what you have learned. And then – voila! – a new item on the list of programs at newcomer’s night!

What is it you can’t do David? Have you tried the ideas I mentioned to Jason? (I’m sure there are plenty more that I didn’t think of.) Bottom line is we need to all be discipling and discipled. Find something to do. Invent something to do!

If *no* church is receptive, it makes me wonder why. Perhaps they think you’re trying to take over the pastor’s job. Maybe there’s something you’re proposing that they don’t feel fits in well with their statement of beliefs. Did you ever ask any of them why they were not receptive?

watched it agree with message dont think men are a mess becuz pastors why do we deflect the responsibility it is our fault as individuals for where and what we are. and i was a sad it is an ad for a book kind of seems patronizing

No – it’s not an ad. Are you familiar with Darrin? Fantastic preacher and author, and VP of the Acts29 church planting network. He writes books to help others who are interested in planting churches. This video serves as an intro to both the problem and the solution. And I don’t see him as deflecting the blame at all. It falls 100% on each and every man for himself. But somewhere along the line, some of those men will have to step up and become pastors who are willing to hold that standard, or to hold men in their congregation to it as well. If no one does, nothing will change. That is what I took away from it.

Scott – I can see where some may think it was all just leading up to the promotion of his upcoming book. But one has to ask oneself, is the book going to hurt anyone by reading it? I mean, God has gifted people to help others in unique ways. Darrin is certainly gifted. I do wish it hadn’t ended with the book, but who am I to judge the entire 4 minute video by that one thing.

Truth is, what he was saying in the video was spot on. Thanks for highlighting it on your blog.

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Scott Smith, Scott Smith. Scott Smith said: Are you a man? Watch this if you dare. – http://ow.ly/2yzJx (video by @darrinpatrick) [...]

I agree Scott. And I can tell you from listening to Darrin for a long time that this is truly his passion. So much so, that he leads Acts29, wrote a book and made this video. So, I don’t see it as a marketing ploy so much as a peek into his heart and a synopsis of what you could expect by reading the book. I wasn’t actually planning on reading that book, but after seeing this I may…

(Thanks for tipping me off about the video on FB. I’m a big fan of his!)

Love what Darrin stands for. Funny, I can’t recall where I heard about the video. That viral thing is amazing, huh?

Excellent. I need steady reminders about what is at stake. This was challenging, encouraging, and sobering all at the same time. It’s time again for me, on the eve of entering Seminary full time next week, to reassess my convictions… rather whether or not my life is in lock step with those convictions. Praying for Holy Spirit help in the sanctification process, and joyfully aware that my identity is already secure. Thanks so much for posting, brother.

Yes it is – I love it!

Hey buddy – good to see you back here! Figured you were busy studying by now.
I agree – great to have these reminders. Never stop needing them.
(PS – Enjoy this next phase you’re in!)

Hi Scott – first I want to thank you for sharing this awesome video from Darrin! It is very inspiring and I don’t see it in the least as promotion for his forth coming book but more as awareness that this is a major crisis, wake up MEN, here is a little information, and you NEED to read this book.

I can especially relate to this subject, I grew up “in church” but I didn’t get saved until I was in my mid-thirties, about 15 years ago. So I wondered around this planet completely lost in this same age range that Darrin speaks of. I am now a member of a “traditional” church. And don’t get me wrong, it is an awesome fellowship. Great pastor, great ministries, awesome children and youth ministries (which are particularly important as I have children in those age groups). Yet I say, with a grain of salt, that I see in our fellowship, this same gap of missing folks in this age range. I must admit, I am new to this subject and to that of church planting versus the established church on the corner of Main Street USA. But I find myself intrigued by the subject searching for information on the web, through books, twitter, etc. So needless to say I will be reading this book.

As always, you are on top of releveant issues we Christians need to know about! Thanks again!

Thanks Andrew! Definitely something we all need to not only take seriously for ourselves, but also figure out what it means in our relationship/responsibility to others.

Always happy to see you here!

Man that is great stuff. Thanks for sharing that. I love what Darrin has to say. I actually go to the Journey every once and a while to hear him preach (his church he leads here in STL)

Thanks Kyle. You are lucky that you are so close! I listen to Darrin’s podcasts from The Journey, but I must do so from afar.